Download When Parents Die: Learning to Live with the Loss of a Parent, 2nd Edition PDF

TitleWhen Parents Die: Learning to Live with the Loss of a Parent, 2nd Edition
Author
LanguageEnglish
File Size1.2 MB
Total Pages171
Table of Contents
                            Book Cover
Half-Title
Series-Title
Title
Copyright
Dedication
Contents
Acknowledgements
Foreword to the second edition
Introducation
1 My story
2 First days, last rites
3 Different deaths, different griefs
4 Mourning time : The first year
5 Mourning time : The second year and after
6 Changes and losses : The private kind
7 Changes and losses : The public kind
8 Old grief in new guises
9 Pathways to the future
10 Last words
Suggested reading
Useful organizations
Index
                        
Document Text Contents
Page 1

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File Attachment
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Page 2

WHEN PARENTS DIE

The death of a parent marks an emotional and psychological watershed in a person’s life.
It is one of the most common forms of bereavement, yet one of the least discussed. For
children and teenagers, the loss of a parent if not handled sensitively can be a lasting
trauma, and for adults too a parent’s death can be a tremendous blow.

First published in 1992, this new edition of When Parents Die will speak to bereaved
children of all ages. Rebecca Abrams draws on her personal and professional
understanding of parental loss, as well as the experiences of many other adults, teenagers
and young children, to provide the reader with an honest, compassionate and insightful
exploration of the experience of losing a parent.

This new edition covers the entire course of grieving, from the immediate aftermath of
a parent’s death through to the point of recovery, paying particular attention to the many
circumstances that can prolong and complicate mourning. It explains the significance of
how and when a parent dies; the importance of the relationship that existed between
parent and child prior to death; the role played by the remaining parent; the difficulties
faced by adolescents and young adults; the impact of earlier and subsequent life events,
for example illness and divorce, and the need to recognize submerged and disguised
grief. Rebecca Abrams argues that a parent continues to be a significant person in one’s
life, and that the true task of grieving is to reach an understanding that while a life has
ended with a parent’s death, a new relationship has begun.

The previous edition of When Parents Die has established itself as an indispensable
aid to the bereaved and the many professionals who work with them. Written in a clear
and sympathetic style, this new edition has been fully revised and updated to take account
of recent research and theoretical developments.
Rebecca Abrams has worked as a counsellor for CRUSE in Oxford and was previously
the school bereavement counsellor at the Cheltenham Ladies’ College in Cheltenham. An
award-winning author and journalist, she is a regular contributor to many of the national
newspapers.

Page 170

remembering 8, 13, 21–2, 28, 34, 67, 76, 109, 129–30, 139–40, 174, 176, 178
repeat patterns and grief 153–6
responsibility:

for other people 15–16, 19–20, 31, 50, 54, 103–7, 104, 131–3, 137, 142, 164;
for yourself 10, 19, 37, 40, 53, 141–2, 171–4, 180

risk-taking 102, 169, 182
role:

change 103–10;
family 27–8

Romain, Rabbi Jonathan 63–4
Roosevelt, Eleanor 133
Rosenman, Linda 17
Rousseau, Jean-Jacques 170
Royal Free Hospital, London 46


sanctification of dead parent 4
Santayana, George 153, 155
school 7, 17–18, 73–5, 150–1
seeing the body 16, 21–2
sex 112, 119, 158–62, 166
Shakespeare, William 52–3, 63, 119
shock 5, 8–9, 17, 20, 22, 27, 29, 36, 39, 42–4, 46, 67, 69, 77–8, 86, 90, 92, 102–3, 133, 152
‘shoe-filling’ 105–7
Shulman, Arthur D. 17
siblings 3, 11, 13, 19–20, 46, 82, 84, 104–5, 117, 125, 128, 131–2;

step-6, 10
Silverman, Phyllis 67, 71, 130
sleep, disturbed 12, 68–73, 75, 90
Smith, Stevie 122
society and death 91
solicitors 4, 20, 30
stages:

of grief 61, 78;
of mourning 65–7

step-families 18, 118–22
Strachey, Lytton 61
Stroebe, Margaret and Wolfgang 67, 99
Styron, William 156
sudden death 43, 51–4, 59, 92
suicide, death by 36, 47–51, 59, 91, 106
support:

getting 96–100;
lack of 64, 73, 79–80, 86, 91, 95, 111, 131, 135


talking, importance of 34, 46–8, 76, 83, 91, 97–8, 109, 114, 126
teachers 7–8, 17–18
Thomas, St 171
Tillich, Paul 182
time, loss of 62–3, 175
tiredness 3, 12, 67, 74, 89, 147
Tolstoy, Leo 1

Index 155



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