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TitleThe First Person: And Other Stories
LanguageEnglish
File Size506.9 KB
Total Pages111
Table of Contents
                            Cover
Title
Copyright
Contents
True short story
The child
Present
The third person
Fidelio and Bess
The history of history
No exit
The second person
I know something you don’t know
Writ
Astute fiery luxurious
The first person
                        
Document Text Contents
Page 2

the first person and
other stories

Page 55

I hung up and went back to the table and wrote up what we’d taken notes on
in double history.
A hush came over the crowd as the doomed queen was led to the place of

execution. She was dressed in black satin and velvet and she undressed, saying,
‘I have never put off my clothes before in front of such a company.’ Underneath
her clothes she was wearing red underclothes, and her handmaidens then put
long red sleeves on her arms and pinned them to her underclothes. She smiled
and prayed and said goodbye to those who had served her all her life. There was
much crying in the room. Her handmaidens fastened a white cloth across her
eyes and she stumbled forward to lay her head on the block. In fact she also put
her hands on the block, but luckily someone noticed at the last minute or these
would also have been cut off as well as her head. Then the executioner tried to
cut her head off, but the first time he missed and only cut her head a bit open.
The execution was properly executed the second time and when the executioner
held her head up it fell out of his hands and all that was left in his hands was a
wig, and the beautiful queen was revealed to everybody as an old lady with very
short grey hair. Legend has it that her lips were still moving many minutes after
her head was cut off and that her little dog, which was of the breed of Skye
Terrier, hid in among her skirts and then curled itself round the place between
her shoulders where her head had been, and then it later died as well, of sorrow.
It was only a first draft. The idea was that we were meant to make it as much

like a real newspaper report as possible. I went through it again and decided
what was important and what wasn’t, if it was for a newspaper, and gave it
suitable headings and columns.

The doomed queen was led to the place of execution. A hush came over the
crowd when it saw her. She was dressed very fashionably in black satin and
velvet. Many ladies nodded at her fashion taste.

The crowd held its breath while she took off nearly all her clothes. All the people
there could nearly see what she would look like with no clothes on. It was
embarrassing. She was wearing bright red underwear. Goodbye! she said to

Page 56

everyone. She smiled a queenly smile. The crowd burst into tears. She was the
People’s Queen. Her handmaidens fixed a white cloth on her eyes.

When she came forward to the block, she stumbled. The crowd all went oooh!
aaah! After two swipes of the axe, she was unfortunately dead. The executioner
picked up her head. That’s when it was revealed to everyone that she had grey
hair and wore a wig and was not at all as beautiful as people had thought, but
much older in actuality.

Legend has it that she spoke for a long time after being dead, though nobody has
reported what it was she actually said. We at the DAILY NEWS believe she
probably said ‘I am dead. Do not grieve for me. Please make sure my dog is fed
properly after my demise.’
Her dog, a Skye Terrier, which is a noble breed, would not leave her side even
when she was dead. Then it would not leave the place where her head once was.
Then it died too. And that was the sad end of the noble breed herself, the
Scottish queen of Scots, and also of her dog.

I heard something clattering on the stairs.
Christ almighty I hate these fucking books, my mother was shouting. They’re

full of shit. I’m never going to read a single one of these again in my life.
She must have thrown the book down the stairs. That must have been what

had made the clattering noise. Either that or she’d thrown the dog.
I had never heard her use language like that before.
I very much disapproved.

My mother’s gone mad, I told my friend Sandra the next day at school.
Mine too, Sandra said. All she does is make things and put them in

Tupperware boxes in the freezer. It’s because the people next door got a freezer
and then my dad got us one, a really huge one in the garage and it’s like she
can’t bear to think of it having any space left in it so she’s busy freezing things.
No, I mean really mad, I said, not just normal mad. She won’t cook anything.

Page 111

Table of Contents
Cover
Title
Copyright
Contents
True short story
The child
Present
The third person
Fidelio and Bess
The history of history
No exit
The second person
I know something you don’t know
Writ
Astute fiery luxurious
The first person

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