Download Nightlight: A Parody PDF

TitleNightlight: A Parody
File Size626.6 KB
Total Pages111
Table of Contents
About the Author
Title Page
Chapter 1 - First Look
Chapter 2 - Rescue
Chapter 3 - Hand Prick
Chapter 4 - Researches
Chapter 5 - Shopping
Chapter 6 - Woods
Chapter 7 - The Mullens
Chapter 8 - The Cemetery
Chapter 9 - Invitation
Chapter 10 - Vampire Prom
Chapter 11 - Rightful Place
Document Text Contents
Page 56


I COULDN’T SLEEP THAT NIGHT. I KEPT WORRYING there was a leech outside my window. I
kept worrying it was going to jump from the tree onto my window
screen and then worm its way in, using its hemoglobin sensors to find
where all my blood was. The problem with having great smelling blood
is that everyone is going to want some. I got up and closed the window.
But that only caused a whole new slew of fears, because what if the
leech What if he and Edwart were in cahoots,
and the leech was merely second banana to him, hiding under my bed
until I fell asleep? One thing was for sure—I wasn’t going to stop that
leech from doing its job. That’s no way to do my part for the economy. I
opened the window wide and went back to bed.
I tossed and turned for minutes. Luckily, my absentminded mother

had packed the tranquilizer gun I used to use on her when she’d get in
one of her moods, so I shot myself with it and slept soundly. She also
packed our VCR and her diamond ring.
Despite the tranquilizer, I was still nervous the next morning. What

was Edwart going to do to me? Was I putting myself in grave danger?
Why did a leech sucking my blood disgust me but not a vampire? Most
importantly, how was I going to balance wearing a ball gown with not
looking like I cared too much about my appearance? I ended up
scratching the ball gown and going with a button-down shirt, but a girl’s
button-down shirt. You can tell by the pockets.
I heard a knock on the door and breathed in sharply. How thoughtful

of Edwart to knock when he could just as easily break down the door. I
opened it expectantly.
It was the mailman, grinning at me with that typical Switchblade

“Hi,” he said. “Nice weather.”
I shifted awkwardly. I felt comfortable talking about a lot of things,

Page 111


Copyright © 2009 by The Harvard Lampoon, Inc.

All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Vintage Books, a division of Random
House, Inc., New York, and in Canada by Random House of Canada Limited, Toronto.

Vintage and colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

eISBN: 978-0-30747665-4

Similer Documents