Download How to Raise Your Self-Esteem: The Proven Action-Oriented Approach to Greater Self-Respect and Self-Confidence PDF

TitleHow to Raise Your Self-Esteem: The Proven Action-Oriented Approach to Greater Self-Respect and Self-Confidence
Author
LanguageEnglish
File Size736.5 KB
Total Pages129
Table of Contents
                            Other Books by This Author
Title Page
Copyright
Contents
Acknowledgments
Preface
1 The Importance of Self-Esteem
2 Self-Concept As Destiny
3 Living Consciously
4 Learning Self-Acceptance
5 Liberation from Guilt
6 Integrating the Younger Self
7 Living Responsibly
8 Living Authentically
9 Nurturing the Self-Esteem of Others
10 The Question of Selfishness
11 Summary: The Impact of Self-Esteem
A Note to My Readers
Recommendations for Further Study
About the Author
                        
Document Text Contents
Page 2

YOU ARE HOW YOU FEEL—ABOUT YOURSELF

—Dr. Nathaniel Branden

Page 64

do we do that is healing?
Typically, we say something like, “I see that you feel unhappy and self-
reproachful about what you did. Let’s try to understand why you did it.
What were the feelings and considerations that prompted your behavior?
Can we explore that?” (We do hurl reproaches and we do say,
“What you did was right. There’s nothing to feel bad about.”)
You need to remember that, when you act, at some level you are
always striving to satisfy your needs (as is true of all living organisms).
Our actions are always related to our efforts to survive, or to protect the
self, or to maintain equilibrium, or to avoid fear and pain, or to nurture
ourselves, or to grow. Even if the path we choose is mistaken, even if

we are engaged in self-destruction, at some level
we are trying to take care of ourselves—as in the case of a suicide who
seeks escape from intolerable pain.
However, in seeking to understand the roots of undesirable behavior,
there is no implication that the persons involved “couldn’t help it.”
Neither understanding nor compassion entails denial of responsibility.
In fact, when a wrong has been committed over which a person feels
guilt, I direct the client’s attention to the question of what actions he or
she might take to allow self-forgiveness. Let us examine this point, as it
is important.
Self-forgiveness may require more than the understanding and
compassion indicated above. Allowing for the fact that sometimes there
are special circumstances requiring special considerations, there are,
generally speaking, fairly specific steps we can take to free ourselves
from guilt.
The first is to own (make real to ourselves, rather than deny or ignore)
the fact that it is we who have taken the particular action.
The second, if another person has been harmed by our action, is to
acknowledge explicitly to that person (or persons) the harm we have
done and convey our understanding of the consequences of our
behavior, assuming that this is possible.
The third is to take any and all actions available to us that might make
amends or minimize the harm we have done (such as paying back stolen
money, retracting a lie, and so on).
Finally, we need to make a firm commitment to behave differently in
the future,

Page 65

create self-distrust



why

Page 128

THE SIX PILLARS OF SELF-ESTEEM

Page 129

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

With a Ph.D. in psychology and a background in philosophy, Nathaniel
Branden is a practicing psychotherapist in Los Angeles and, in addition,
conducts business seminars, workshops, and conferences worldwide on
the application of self-esteem principles and technology to the challenges
of modern business. He is the author of many books, including, most
recently, his memoir, .
In addition to his in-person practice, he consults via the telephone
worldwide. He can be reached through his Los Angeles office at:
P.O. Box 1530
Beverly Hills, CA 90213
(310) 274–6361
fax: (310) 271–6808
For information write to Nathaniel Branden at [email protected]

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