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TitleDOUGLAS ADAMS - The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide
Author
Tags
LanguageEnglish
File Size3.2 MB
Total Pages898
Table of Contents
                            Introduction: A GUIDE TO THE GUIDE
THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY
	Preface
	Chapter 1
	Chapter 2
	Chapter 3
	Chapter 4
	Chapter 5
	Chapter 6
	Chapter 7
	Chapter 8
	Chapter 9
	Chapter 10
	Chapter 11
	Chapter 12
	Chapter 13
	Chapter 14
	Chapter 15
	Chapter 16
	Chapter 17
	Chapter 18
	Chapter 19
	Chapter 20
	Chapter 21
	Chapter 22
	Chapter 23
	Chapter 24
	Chapter 25
	Chapter 26
	Chapter 27
	Chapter 28
	Chapter 29
	Chapter 30
	Chapter 31
	Chapter 32
	Chapter 33
	Chapter 34
	Chapter 35
THE RESTAURANT AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE
	Chapter 1
	Chapter 2
	Chapter 3
	Chapter 4
	Chapter 5
	Chapter 6
	Chapter 7
	Chapter 8
	Chapter 9
	Chapter 10
	Chapter 11
	Chapter 12
	Chapter 13
	Chapter 14
	Chapter 15
	Chapter 16
	Chapter 17
	Chapter 18
	Chapter 19
	Chapter 20
	Chapter 21
	Chapter 22
	Chapter 23
	Chapter 24
	Chapter 25
	Chapter 26
	Chapter 27
	Chapter 28
	Chapter 29
	Chapter 30
	Chapter 31
	Chapter 32
	Chapter 33
	Chapter 34
LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING
	Chapter 1
	Chapter 2
	Chapter 3
	Chapter 4
	Chapter 5
	Chapter 6
	Chapter 7
	Chapter 8
	Chapter 9
	Chapter 10
	Chapter 11
	Chapter 12
	Chapter 13
	Chapter 14
	Chapter 15
	Chapter 16
	Chapter 17
	Chapter 18
	Chapter 19
	Chapter 20
	Chapter 21
	Chapter 22
	Chapter 23
	Chapter 24
	Chapter 25
	Chapter 26
	Chapter 27
	Chapter 28
	Chapter 29
	Chapter 30
	Chapter 31
	Chapter 32
	Chapter 33
	Chapter 34
SO LONG, AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH
	Preface
	Chapter 1
	Chapter 2
	Chapter 3
	Chapter 4
	Chapter 5
	Chapter 6
	Chapter 7
	Chapter 8
	Chapter 9
	Chapter 10
	Chapter 11
	Chapter 12
	Chapter 13
	Chapter 14
	Chapter 15
	Chapter 16
	Chapter 17
	Chapter 18
	Chapter 19
	Chapter 20
	Chapter 21
	Chapter 22
	Chapter 23
	Chapter 24
	Chapter 25
	Chapter 26
	Chapter 27
	Chapter 28
	Chapter 29
	Chapter 30
	Chapter 31
	Chapter 32
	Chapter 33
	Chapter 34
	Chapter 35
	Chapter 36
	Chapter 37
	Chapter 38
	Chapter 39
	Chapter 40
	Epilogue:
YOUNG ZAPHOD PLAYS IT SAFE
MOSTLY HARMLESS
	Chapter 1
	Chapter 2
	Chapter 3
	Chapter 4
	Chapter 5
	Chapter 6
	Chapter 7
	Chapter 8
	Chapter 9
	Chapter 10
	Chapter 11
	Chapter 12
	Chapter 13
	Chapter 14
	Chapter 15
	Chapter 16
	Chapter 17
	Chapter 18
	Chapter 19
	Chapter 20
	Chapter 21
	Chapter 22
	Chapter 23
	Chapter 24
	Chapter 25
                        
Document Text Contents
Page 2

Introduction:  A  GUIDE  TO  
THE  GUIDE  

 

Some  unhelpful  remarks  from  the  author    

 

The  history  of  The  Hitchhiker's  Guide  to  the  Galaxy  is  now  so  
complicated  that  every  time  I  tell  it  I  contradict  myself,  and  whenever  
I  do  get  it  right  I'm  misquoted.  So  the  publication  of  this  omnibus  
edition  seemed  like  a  good  opportunity  to  set  the  record  straight    or  
at  least  firmly  crooked.  Anything  that  is  put  down  wrong  here  is,  as  far  
as  I'm  concerned,  wrong  for  good.    

The  idea  for  the  title  first  cropped  up  while  I  was  lying  drunk  in  a  
field  in  Innsbruck,  Austria,  in  1971.  Not  particularly  drunk,  just  the  
sort  of  drunk  you  get  when  you  have  a  couple  of  stiff  Gössers  after  
not  having  eaten  for  two  days  straight,  on  account  of  being  a  
penniless  hitchhiker.  We  are  talking  of  a  mild  inability  to  stand  up.    

I  was  traveling  with  a  copy  of  the  Hitch  Hiker  s  Guide  to  Europe  by  
Ken  Walsh,  a  very  battered  copy  that  I  had  borrowed  from  someone.  
In  fact,  since  this  was  1971  and  I  still  have  the  book,  it  must  count  as  
stolen  by  now.  I  didn't  have  a  copy  of  Europe  on  Five  Dollars  a  Day  (as  
it  then  was)  because  I  wasn't  in  that  financial  league.    

Night  was  beginning  to  fall  on  my  field  as  it  spun  lazily  underneath  
me.  I  was  wondering  where  I  could  go  that  was  cheaper  than  
Innsbruck,  revolved  less  and  didn't  do  the  sort  of  things  to  me  that  
Innsbruck  had  done  to  me  that  afternoon.  What  had  happened  was  
this.  I  had  been  walking  through  the  town  trying  to  find  a  particular  
address,  and  being  thoroughly  lost  I  stopped  to  ask  for  directions  
from  a  man  in  the  street.  I  knew  this  mightn't  be  easy  because  I  don't  
speak  German,  but  I  was  still  surprised  to  discover  just  how  much  
difficulty  I  was  having  communicating  with  this  particular  man.  
Gradually  the  truth  dawned  on  me  as  we  struggled  in  vain  to  
understand  each  other  that  of  all  the  people  in  Innsbruck  I  could  have  
stopped  to  ask,  the  one  I  had  picked  did  not  speak  English,  did  not  
speak  French  and  was  also  deaf  and  dumb.  With  a  series  of  sincerely  
apologetic  hand  movements,  I  disentangled  myself,  and  a  few

Page 450

molten  tar  glurping  out  of  a  drum  with  evil  on  its  mind,  "as  the  
rabbit."    

With  a  sudden  ping,  there  was  a  rabbit  there  in  the  black  labyrinth  
with  him,  a  huge,  monstrously,  hideously  soft  and  lovable  rabbit    an  
image  again,  but  one  on  which  every  single  soft  and  lovable  hair  
seemed  like  a  real  and  single  thing  growing  in  its  soft  and  lovable  coat.  
Arthur  was  startled  to  see  his  own  reflection  in  its  soft  and  lovable  
unblinking  and  extremely  huge  brown  eyes.    

"Born  in  darkness,"  rumbled  the  voice,  "raised  in  darkness.  One  
morning  I  poked  my  head  for  the  first  time  into  the  bright  new  world  
and  got  it  split  open  by  what  felt  suspiciously  like  some  primitive  
instrument  made  of  flint.    

"Made  by  you,  Arthur  Dent,  and  wielded  by  you.  Rather  hard  as  I  
recall.    

"You  turned  my  skin  into  a  bag  for  keeping  interesting  stones  in.  I  
happen  to  know  that  because  in  my  next  life  I  came  back  as  a  fly  again  
and  you  swatted  me.  Again.  Only  this  time  you  swatted  me  with  the  
bag  you'd  made  of  my  previous  skin.    

"Arthur  Dent,  you  are  not  merely  a  cruel  and  heartless  man,  you  
are  also  staggeringly  tactless."    

The  voice  paused  whilst  Arthur  gawped.    

"I  see  you  have  lost  the  bag,"  said  the  voice.  "Probably  got  bored  
with  it,  did  you?"    

Arthur  shook  his  head  helplessly.  He  wanted  to  explain  that  he  had  
been  in  fact  very  fond  of  the  bag  and  had  looked  after  it  very  well  and  
had  taken  it  with  him  wherever  he  went,  but  that  somehow  every  
time  he  travelled  anywhere  he  seemed  inexplicably  to  end  up  with  
the  wrong  bag  and  that,  curiously  enough,  even  as  they  stood  there  
he  was  just  noticing  for  the  first  time  that  the  bag  he  had  with  him  at  
the  moment  appeared  to  be  made  out  of  rather  nasty  fake  leopard  
skin,  and  wasn't  the  one  he'd  had  a  few  moments  ago  before  he  
arrived  in  this  whatever  place  it  was,  and  wasn't  one  he  would  have  
chosen  himself  and  heaven  knew  what  would  be  in  it  as  it  wasn't  his,  
and  he  would  much  rather  have  his  original  bag  back,  except  that  he  
was  of  course  terribly  sorry  for  having  so  peremptorily  removed  it,  or  
rather  its  component  parts,  i.e.  the  rabbit  skin,  from  its  previous  
owner,  viz.  the  rabbit  whom  he  currently  had  the  honour  of  
attempting  vainly  to  address.

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